Is it really that hard to know a person?

I have been watching this show, 'Emotional Atyachar'. For those who don't know about it, the producers of this show perform a kind of spying operation and show us its footage. The operation is carried out to check the fidelity of a BF/GF, upon the request of doubting partner. It is a reality show. Due to its subject and shooting style(with hidden camera) and many other reasons, I liked it. Now bollywood has made a film on similar subject, 'Love Sex aur Dhoka'. Keeping its entertainment part aside, one question is nagging me all the time. Is it really that hard to know a person? Do you really need to do a spying operation to check one's fidelity?

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Human Style of Evolution

Dr. Charles Darwin proposed the theory of evolution of species. In it, he described how different species have undergone changes in their genetic structure for adopting themselves to changing conditions of nature. He also described how nature picks up best individuals in a same species who are fit to go ahead in the race of time. He calls it ' Natural Selection'. Theory says, "in mammals there will be many cubs born out of which very few will live to their adulthood. Others will be eliminated." This elimination happens purely based on competition. The cubs who can compete against their siblings and cubs of other parents will survive. They also have to sustain cruel and brutal natural conditions. In this process, incompetent individuals are eliminated. This way nature ensures that only best genes are passed ahead and the population of that species remains in control.





Today's human society behaves exactly opposite to this theory. Because of the use of technology, medicines and rules of society, incompetent individuals can easily survive. Technology has helped human reduce the blow of unfavorable natural conditions. eg. one can use heater in the house when its snowing outside. Medicine has helped human fight against nature when nature tries to eliminate incompetent individuals using various diseases. eg. malaria. The rules of human society interfere greatly in nature's ways of putting competition. In nature, one has to procure one's food himself, which is not an easy task. In humans, an incompetent may inherit huge currency which he can convert into food whereas a competent individual may not have skills "desired in human society" to earn his bread and butter. These all are very few examples that depict the opposite styles of human and nature.


Also controlling the birth of off springs may lead to restriction of generation of good genes. eg. A genetically perfect couple may use contraceptives to regulate their number of off springs. This way they disallow best genes from going ahead.

In nature there is a competition between males to woo a meeting female. Due to the rules of human society, this competition has become murky with introduction of parameters like money. So in humans meeting pair may contain an incompetent individual with competent one. This way a competent individual is kept away from a competent meeting partner. It's a kind of wastage of good genes.


This 'human style of living' has caused incompetent genes to survive and pass themselves to next generation. It has also caused the rise in human population which is unnatural. This has severely disturbed our ecosystem. Many species have already become extinct and many are on a verge of becoming. But we still haven't found a permanent solution on it. The styles of human and nature are completely conflicting. To me, technology seems to be the point of origin from where it all started. Before human tried to control the things, nature was perfect, a perfectly balanced ecosystem. But now it has been damaged severely. We surely don't know what is the purpose of our existence in this universe or what nature wants from us. But one thing is clear that we are a part of this mother nature. We have been born by nature and hence we must live in accordance with nature.

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IPL Fever

Within just 2 days of its start, the third season of IPL has caught its fever over Indian cricket spectators. Today, MI beat RR in what can be called as a thrilling contest. Every year, IPL is becoming business friendly. Some old fellas who love cricket are not liking this commercialization of the game. I look little differently toward it. Spectators who watch the game on TV don't pay except a fee for watching 'MAX' channel. In return they get to watch a huge entertainment, sitting at home. The money is taken from advertisers who earn it back when their products are sold. We, the spectators, purchase those products and in turn pay for the entertainment that we watched. But here is a trick. Not all of us purchase products of same worth though we all see same entertainment. So we pay different for seeing same things. This system enables poor (and those who don't want to purchase those products) to get access to quality entertainment. Distribution of wealth!

I wonder if IPL can help in spreading hockey in India. They can have same teams for hockey also. and Instead of 2 cricket matches every day, they can have one cricket and one hockey match, instead. Or completely different tournament for hockey, same as IPL. Governing body of Indian hockey must give a thought to this idea.

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America is NOT the world

Today I read an article in 'Times of India' about hollywood actress Megan Fox. In America she is called as the sexiest lady in the world. Americans think America is the world. Surely baby Megan may be saxiest lady in America, but that doesn't make her saxiest of all the world. I am sure, there are better women than her in the 'actual' world.

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Reserved over Reservation

Finally Rajya Sabha passed the bill of women's reservation amid all acrimonious debates and ruckus. Some MPs surely protested against it. Opposing the bill, just because bill lacks the quota for backward group, is not acceptable. If the bill is not passed, how are these backward class women gonna get their quota. and those parties who protested it on this issue can themselves keep reserved seats for backward class women in their party.

I think, reservations should not be encouraged in an ideal society. But as we are far away from an ideal society, we can take their help to walk the path toward it. Reservations are unnatural adjustments to correct the mistakes that we made in the history. We underestimated women, denied their rights of equality with men. For me women were equally nay little more than men, responsible for their own disaster. In nature, one has to strive continuously for freedom. Even today, it can be seen that women give up their freedom themselves and prefer slavery of men. Educated women are also not behind in this. Under the cause of taking care of family and children, many women today give up to earn money and sit at home. Though the cause is acceptable, the way adopted doesn't seem very good to me. What do I say about highly educated women who go to 'States' with their husband just to cook for him.

Reservation to women will not change the condition of women in a day. But surely it's a remarkable first step toward a change. Further I think, the reservation should not be for indefinite period. The 'effective time' of reservation should be mentioned in the bill itself, so that at the end of that period, they become void. If at the end of the stipulated period, reservation is still required, then it should be extended by passing a new bill. In India, withdrawing a reservation after its purpose is over, is a sensitive issue and political parties do not dare to do so to protect their vote bank.

Beyond reservation, I think, a huge work is required to be done in women education. Reservation gives opportunity, whereas education gives capability. Without making women capable, reservation is of zero use. With this bill, society will also debate about women rights and 'look and think' freshly about women's position in society.

But in the end, its women who have to fight and strive for their own freedom and equal rights. It's in their hand to make the best use of opportunities offered to them by this bill of reservations.

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Bharatratna to Sachin

Certainly. Yeah, sure. Why not? He completely deserves it. I strongly recommend Sachin Tendulkar be awarded with the highest award of the nation, 'Bharatratna'. He is the topmost cricketer in the world. He currently holds large no of records in cricket. He holds the record largest no of runs in ODIs and tests. He holds the record of highest no of centuries in ODIs and tests. He recently conquered the record of highest no of runs in a inning in ODI. He is first and only man uptill now to have double ton in an ODI. He has been playing for his country more than last two decades. He surely is the greatest cricketer this planet has ever seen. He has given pure pleasure to the eyes of billions of cricket lovers worldwide. He has his fans not only in India but all over the world.

But his contribution is not limited to field of cricket only. Cricket is very small part of what Sachin Tendulkar has to offer to the world. His actions off the ground, his behaviour in society and his temperament teaches us a lot. He is very humble person. He is very much down to earth. He is always considerate and sensitive towards society and people of his country. Be it dedicating his great knock to Mumbai martyrs and people of Mumbai or be it dedicating his double ton to his fans. It shows how much modest, considerate and sensitive he is!

His simple action of carrying label of Indian flag on his helmet would have generated spark of patriotism in million hearts. How many hearts would have been touched by his simple action of looking toward sky and remembering his father after smashing a century? A simple action that teaches us love, affection, respect. A simple action that depicts a link to Indian culture and tradition.

The qualities he carries are immortal and universal. His passion for cricket teaches us how to love our work and be passionate about it. The way he pracises in net even today, inspires us to work hard in our life. Doesn't it also teach us how one should polish one's skills all the time? The way he dived to save 1 run on second last ball in first match against SA! We won that match just by the margin of 1 run. Doesn't he tell us how team comes first? Isn't he telling us age doesn't matter when you have strong desire to work? In his knock of double ton he scored 56 singles. Doesn't it tell us about what persistency is?

Sachin never replied his critics with words, instead he preferred to concentrate on his game. He showed to them what a great class he carries. Didn't he tell us then that bad patch comes in almost everyone's life but what matters is how you overcome it without losing your patience. He humbly acknowledges the efforts of his family, friends, relatives and his coach. He has expressed his gratefulness to them.

Sachin is very much active in social work as well. Be it donating money for education, be it saving water campaign for Mumbai. There are thousand of tales that could be told about this great man. Everything Sachin touches turns into gold. He is simply great. He has truly become 'Bharatratna' in the hearts of billion Indians. Awarding it to him is just a formality.

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Moonroof

Original Writer: Sampada Mhalagi-Adkar
Translator: Vega
All rights reserved with the writer of the story.
For writer's blog and reading original story in Marathi, head over to here.
http://shabdankit.wordpress.com


Manasi....Darling, are you done? I'm getting late." Milind repeated his every morning chatter.
"Yes honey. I am just packing our tiffins." Manasi replied her part of set conversation. They were newly married, just two months before.

Milind and Manasi, both worked in the field of Information Technology. They were one of those IT park lovebirds. Both were handsome and intelligent, perfect for each other. They got married, after their families agreed. Marraige was made hastily as Milind's father had sustained a heart attach, five months before. "Manasi dear, lets go. We might miss the bus." Milind called from the door.

Milind's father had gone to Nashik to visit his daughter. He was a retired man. When he was home, he got entertained by daily morning chatters of his son and daughter-in-law. He remembered his young days. After death of Milind's mother when he was 13, his father and elder sister had brought him up. They never let Milind feel absence of his mother.

Milind and Manasi lived with Milind's father, in his old banglow. The family was a tenant of that bunglow. Milind's father was anticipating that someday owner would construct a building in the place of that house and he would get his own house in it. But he also suggested Milind to buy his own apartment elsewhere. Milind had thought about it and postponed the idea. He had spent a big deal of money for his father's bypass operation. Also he had to keep some money ready if house owner decided to construct a building. Manasi also had agreed to him.

***

Late that evening, Milind and Manasi returned home from a party. After a long time, Milind had taken his bike out. He liked ridding his bike very much. He didn't get many chances of ridding it though. Manasi loathed bikes as she was afraid of accidents. They commuted in office bus.

It was a nice and perfect evening. Just Manasi and me, Milind thought. They knew each other eight months before their marraige but they had hardly got their time together after marraige. This was a good chance for romance. Milind was in a perfect mood. Lying on bed, he was waiting for Manasi. After finishing her kitchen-work, she came into bedroom.
"Milind, how did you like Anand and Sandhya?"- Manasi
"They are good......a nice couple."
"Sandy is my very old friend." Manasi said, caressing Milind's head with her soft hands.
"...."
"Are you listening to me?" She asked. "Isn't their car nice?"
"hmmmm.....Very nice."
"Hey, when do we buy a car?"-Manasi.
"hmmmm..."-Milind sighed.
"Milind............Answer me. Lets buy a car at least, if not house."
"Sure, tomorrow". He pulled her towards him.
"Yeah, I know. There will never be a tomorrow. You are just.........ummm........." His lips were locked on hers.

***

"Milind, Sandy had brought her car to office. She got her license. She even gave me a ride. We drove to a nearby lake. It felt wonderful sitting in a car."
Milind showed no expression on his face.
"Are you even listeing to me?" - Manasi
"Yups baby" Milind continued his work of checking bank statements.
"And you know........her car has a moonroof."
"Has it?.........That's great", was the reply from Milind.
"We will also have a moonroof fitted to our car. It costs a little extra, but it is worth it. and I think we can afford it."
"Sure"
"So when do we buy a car?" Manasi had no intension of diverting from subject.
"We will buy a car"- Milind
"When?" Manasi came near the table where Milind was seated. She seemed eager. Milind had no choice but to look at her.
"Sure we will buy a car honey. What's the hurry? I mean we have a bike and we commute in office bus."
"Whatever.....Lets buy a car at least, if not a house." Manasi repeated her agenda. She had never forced Milind about buying a house. She knew that Milind was brought up in this house and he liked staying there very much. He cherished his childhood memories with his mother in the house. She never forced him for their new house and Milind was also very much aware of it. But now she seemed to have taken car thing seriously. I have to tackle this issue delicately, Milind thought.
"Listen Manasi" Milind said, a serious note in his voice. "We just have had dad's bypass operation done. It did cost us a good fortune. Besides we have to repay my education loan. Also, we have spent some money on our marraige".
Manasi listened, discouraged.
"We have to put some money aside. The house owner can start construction any time. We ought to be ready with the money. Buying a car on loan doesn't seem a good option to me. We aleady have our EMIs. Let us just wait for few more months. We will buy a car, honey."-Milind.
"But why don't we use money from my bank account?"
"Darling, it has some of your own money that you have earned before our marraige."
"So what?"
"I can't take that money. and we have decided to keep the remaining amout for emergency, haven't we?" Milind tried to sooth her without offending her.
"But now I am telling you to use the money, what's the problem in it?" Manasi sounded frustrated.
"You don't seem to understand Darling"
"Then explain me, please."
"Sure....when you have calmed down yourself." Milind returned to what he was doing. Manasi walked off into kitchen, angrily. That day went by with tension filled in the air.


For the next two days, Manasi remained withdrawn and Milind tried to convince her. It's such a good time when only we two are in the house. Baba will return after some days. When we must utilize this golden chance, why is Manasi not cooperating? Milind thought. I must do something to convience her. But what?
Manasi also suffered a dilemma. Baba will return in couple of days. Should I drop my anger now? She thought.

***

Next day, Manasi was to return late from office. Her project was due for release. Milind returned home at his usual time. Though things went smoothly, and they talked to each other, there was still some awkwardness in the house. Manasi still carried the idea of buying a car in her mind.
What do I do to dissuade her from her idea? How do I soothe her anger? Baba might return soon. Milind thought, looking at the calender on the wall.
"Yes" He said loudly to himself as though he discovered something. "Everything is just perfect."
Twenty minutes later, he was ridding his bike toward nearby bus stop.

Milind had gone to pick up Manasi from bus stop. She was late for home today, tired.
"My Mama called on my cellphone. She asked me to worship moon today. I think it's Kojagiri today. I didn't know it and I haven't made any preparation" Manasi said as she threw her purse on bed. "Not even Masala milk.........idiot me!"
"Oh, is it Kojagiri today? Great." - Milind sounded casual. Manasi walked into kitchen.
"Who did this?............you?" Manasi said excitedly as she saw masala milk.
"Yes Ma'm. Not covered, because it's still hot."
"You knew that it was kojagiri today?" There was a complete disbelief in her voice.
"I saw it in calender after I returned from office." - Milind clarified. "Now see what's in that pot." It had a dry bhel in it. Manasi was really touched. Ekdam Sahi, she thought.
"You did all this? You are such a great husband!. Ekdam solid", she said.
"Yes, indeed, I am" He said, a mischiveous smile on his face. "You make other arrangements and come onto terrace. I am going ahead."
"Why terrace? Moon can be seen from window also."
"Dear, are you gonna see a kojagiri moon from a small window? It's an insult to moon." He winked. "Follow me. I am taking milk and bhel with me."


Ten minutes later, Manasi walked onto terrace, dressed in a Panjabi style, carrying pujasahitya in a plate. She looked very beautiful in moonlight.
"Wow, you did all this?" She exclaimed as she looked around the terrace. Milind had turned the terrace into a beautiful place. It was cleaned, sprinked with water. There was a carpet at the center of terrace. Manasi couldn't believe her eyes.
"Yes, my moon was to return home late and tired! Don't I have to comfort her?"-Milind.
She blushed, her beautiful face turning red. God, she looks terrific, Milind thought.

They prayed as they worshiped moon. Then they sat on the carpet with glass of milk in their hands. It was a kojagiri full moon night. The sky was decorated with starts and moon seemed their decorator. The cold breeze carried a scent with it. All in all it was a romantic night. Milind and Manasi sat there drinking in the beauty of nature.
"Manasi, you wanted a moonroof, didn't you? Now, where we are sitting is a moonroof, isn't it? A moonroof without roof and boundry to it. An infinite moonroof. Liked it?"
"Milind, you are great. Thanks dear. I love you"-Manasi leaned on his chest.
"Well, I am no great. Someday we will surely buy a car, fitted with a moonroof. As you liked. But are we not to see moon till then?"-Milind.
"hmmmm............." She looked into his eyes.
"and you know what Manasi, this is our honeymoon phase. Now that I gave you a moon, I deserve my honey." He said as his lips reached for hers.
"Sure, you do" She blushed, pushed him away and ran toward the staircase. "Come, get your honey" she winked as she saw Milind running after her.

-End

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Subjectivity of Need

The other day I sparred with my sister about her increasing use of cellphone. She is persuing her degree in engineering and staying at hostel. I had let her use a cellphone to communicate with family. Now she uses it too much to talk to family, friends and relatives. This is affecting her studies. So I asked her stop using it completely to which she replied she needed it. She claims that she can communicate with family whenever required, with friends quickly and vice a versa. Maybe she is right. What I say is she may use cellphone for various purposes and it might help her in SOME things. But surely she doesn't NEED it. She didn't understand what I was saying, we closed the topic and she continued using a cellphone.

Need is subjective. Sometimes it is very difficuilt to find out if one REALLY NEEDS something. I can use a fleet of private jets if it is at my disposal. But do I NEED it? No. I think when we use some kind of service, it brings two things. Benefits and losses. Thease two play a game of seesaw. Sometimes benefits win, sometimes losses. One needs to use that service only if, using it makes benefits win. While considering benefits and losses, it is difficuilt to rate them on points. eg. in a peculiar case, there might be several benefits and just one loss. But the magnitude of loss could be bigger than combined magnitude of benefits. An individual has to carefully weigh his benefits and losses, though they are completely subjective. One has to decide their weightage. The weightage of same benefit/loss could be different for diff people. eg. choosing a train service over plane would cause a time loss. But the weightage of this loss is much bigger to a businessman who was to meet an important client than to a tourist.

Turning back to my sister's case, she has many benefits of using cellphone as I already told. The only loss this cellphone is causing is that it's affecting her studies seriously. It eats her time in conversations which I think are useless otherwise. It disturbs the concentration. and those useless SMSes!! I think, in her case, losses are winning the game of seesaw over benefits. She has to understand it.

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Superbatsman

You have got Superman. You have got Batman. We have got Superbatsman; that too real. His name is Sachin Tendulkar.







What a miraculous inning it was from Sachin against SA in Gwalher! He played almost all kinds of shots, all of them gracefully. He was hardly beaten in that inning. He was never dropped. Only once he was close to runout, which he survived. What a perfect inning, beautifully carved. It came from Master Blaster after his 20 years in International cricket. He played thru entire inning of India without taking a runner and stood notout. What a marvelleous performance! unbelievable and fabulous! It was a feast to eyes to watch Sachin play that day. A magnificient double ton. I was so excited when he broke the highest score record that I watched his remaining inning standing. Hats off to Sachin.

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Hockey Failure

India lost their third match of hockey world cup 2010 against Spain. I think, they cannot reach to semifinals now. I watched all the matches of India in this tournament. Except against Pakistan, I couldn't see Indian team in form. Against Australia, before India could really begin their game they were hit with the goal against them; just in third minute of game. Now, I am not a hockey expert, neither I have ever taken hockey stick in my hand, but from today's match (against Spain) I have couple of questions to ask. Anyone who watched the game can try to answer them.
1) Why were Indian players standing behind the Spain players for 1-to-1 marking. Aren't they supposed to stand alongside? Even commenter said this point. By standing behind them, do you expect Spain players to miss the ball and then you would get it?
2) Every time an Indian player gets a pass, why does he have to stop and look above to see where his fellow team players are? Can't he just have judgement of it from jersey colour or from corner of an eye or looking around before he actually gets a pass. Stopping for looking around, gives enough time for opponent players to align their positions, I guess. Along with tactics, hockey is also a game of pace, isn't it?
3) My observation was that Indian players weren't giving quick passes. They retained the ball with them till opponent player came very close to them. This makes very easy for opponents to take the ball away. Many times today, the ball was literally snatched away from Indians. Weren't other players in proper locations to receive the pass? If yes, why?

Indian hockey team has lot of potential. There game was not bad, but they need to perform better. I am sure in near future they will work to make themselves better and please Indian hockey lovers. There were times, when Indian cricket team was going thru bad patch. But today, they have achieved first position in test ranking and retained it. Lets hope hockey team does the same and we get to watch better games from them. All the best.

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